FictionistI know many parents out there have heard this, “I promise if you get me a dog I will take care of it”. Well that is how it all started. My teenage daughter asked for a puppy for her sixteenth birthday. We had two dogs already and a third was would be the last nail in my coffin. I went ahead and gave in the pleas and tears. We owned a collie and a tan pug. She wanted a black pug. Now those of you who own pugs should know that, one pug is plenty for any owner to handle.

She promised she would take care of it, etc. During my brain fart, I actually thought this might be true. She was good with dogs and had really been good with the one we already had. Had I been able to forsee into the future, this transaction would have not taken place.

Despite the first initial tries to bond with this dog, its sole purpose from the beginning was to attach itself to me like a life sucking leach. This dog….despite her being cute has certain aspects about her that really drive me nuts. One is her fatal attraction to me and the other is the ability she has to clear the room with one silent-but-deadly fart. With me being a stay-at-home mom, this only strengthened the bond between pet and pet’s not-supposed-to-be owner. Despite the tries from my daughter, this dog will not have anything to do with her.

I feel like I am being stalked in my own home by a black shadow that is always lurking in dark corners. I go to the bathroom for time away and space. I no sooner get there and shut the door when I see a black paw slowing protruding from underneath the door. If the door is not opened immediately, she starts whining. Normal pugs don’t do this. I know, because I have had two normal ones. More than once, I have come out the door and tripped over her extremely large stature. We have hinted to parking her on a corner and attaching a sign to her that says,”Will only obey if I get food”.

This is because she eats everything. If you cut her open, I swear you would find a license plate and perhaps an old boot.

Satan’s spawn does have a name. She is affectionately called Georgia by those that don’t have to spend 24-7 with her. I will not list the many names I have called her. Don’t get me wrong, I am attached to her at this point, but quite honestly she creeps me out at times. I can’t see her in the dark except for her eyes once in awhile and she is always watching me. I leave the room, she follows. I sit down, she is on top of me. I go to bed and she is there whining to get up. Not sure how much longer this drama can go on.