Saying that I am edgy is definitely not admitting to a fashion sense all of my own.  I do have that, but not what my children would want to be seen in public with.  No, I am not talking about that kind of “edgy”, but more like “a cat on a hot tin roof” kind of edgy.  Certain experiences throughout my youth have caused me to be very jumpy and yes, paranoid.  These are not secrets that you want your spouse knowing about you not to mention letting your teenage children know about you.  Mine has accidentally found out by their own observance.

My kids are constantly telling me how paranoid and jumpy I am.  I guess I am, but I do have some good excuses to be and besides being paranoid to a point makes you more alert to your surroundings.  This can be a good thing.  Unfortunately, I get grief from my kids all of the time because of how I am.  I have told them many times that if anyone ever grabs me to do harm, even if I die…they won’t have a problem finding the perp because he will look like he has totally had the carp beat out of him twice.  (I have to say carp because my children told me I shouldn’t say crap).

I have a small dresser by my bed that contains various items that could be used as self-protection.  I don’t think I will list them, some of them might be illegal to own.  Anyway, my husband works various shifts and has told me on many occasions that he would rather stay outside all night than to walk in on me in the dark unannounced.  The bat would probably be the first thing I would grab since my P22 is a little harder to get to.  He thinks it is funny to sit on the couch by me while watching scary movies just so he can grab my leg during an intense part  to see me jump.  I remember watching “Signs” and nearly losing it when the alien leg came out of the corn field. I am not sure this is healthy or not and I am not getting into that discussion with anyone.  Because I am who I am.  Just don’t sneak up behind me and I won’t black your eye. 

To get to my point, my children have used this information against me all of the time.  My son’s think it is funny to scare me.  My husband has seen me clear air many times when I didn’t know he was in the same room with me.  Well last night my daughter thought it would be funny for me to hear the video I will add at the end of this post.  I have to add that along with my jumpiness, I am also claustrophobic.  My  brother rolled me up in a carpet when I was about 3 or 4 years old and I freaked out.  Have never recovered from that. I remember trying to move a couch down a flight of stairs by myself and I got stuck in-between the couch and stairs trying to unjam it from the railing.  I thought to myself,”I am going to die here.  Jay will come home and find my rotting carcus stuck in this hole”.  It was not funny at the time.  Maybe now, but not then. This is why this video freaked me out.  

Whenever I hear, “Mom you want to hear something?”, or “Mom you want to see this freaky video?”  I know that I am about to get into something I don’t want to get into.  This happened last night and of course I performed exactly for my daughter the way she expected.  Swatting at my head and ears like a stupid idiot.  So to those poor souls out there that suffer as I do, this one is for you.  Just remember listen with headphones in and close your eyes.  It is a wild ride!