Don’t get your hopes up.  This isn’t some fantastic recipe for Mexican food.  You couldn’t be so lucky.  My cooking basically is nothing more than a process to keep us alive another day.  I don’t waste a lot of time cooking for two main reasons: Number 1: I always make a huge mess that needs to be cleaned up.  Number 2: Delicious food skips the metabolism stage in my body  and goes directly to the hips, butt and thighs.  Why would I do that to myself?  I can’t think of one reasonable answer.  This post is about having someone else cook and clean and I get to spend precious time with my beautiful kids.  This is priceless.

So tonight was my date with two of the most handsome young men in my  life, my sons.  I look forward to these outings so much.  It is a time to relax and enjoy their company without any concerns of when to be home.  You can really find out a lot about your kids when you take the time.

There is this fantastic Mexican restaurant that is a favorite of ours.  Whenever we celebrate something special, this is the place we go.  Well when the boys were deciding what to do on our night out, El Toro Viejo was the place to eat.  I do not know what they put  in that food, but every time we eat there I get laughing and can’t stop.  Tonight was no different from any other time.

I have a reputation of mixing up my words or saying something really stupid at drive-up windows.  I have now entered into the restaurant sector.  When I went to order my chicken chimichanga, I accidentally said chicky.  I don’t know what came after that because I felt like an idiot at that point and was trying to cover my blunder.  I couldn’t even remember what it was I was ordering.  My sons wanted to climb in a hole.  I did too but no one else was going to order, so I had to pull it out and pull it together.

After we got our meal, my youngest son was sitting there and all of a sudden got a funny look on his face.  He slowly grabbed his napkin and started mopping at his pants.  He then says, “Why is it every time we come here I spill water on my pants thus making it look like I wet my pants”?  Of course me and my other son started laughing because it was true.  Only minutes later, this same son started laughing and looking at my other son and pointing at his shirt.  We all looked and he had spilled salsa all over himself.  This only made the laughing worse.  You may think I am kidding while telling this story but it is absolutely true.  Not even three minutes later, my “Salsa” son started  pointing and laughing at my “water” son.  Sure enough….salsa all over his shirt.  I could not stop laughing.  At this point I interjected with, “What is up with this?  I feel like I am eating with two kindergarteners”.  We all had a good laugh and finally settled down to finish our dinner.  As we are getting up to leave, my son erupted with laughter and started pointing at me……I too had succumbed to the massive spillage of  salsa down the front of my shirt.  He then says, “What is up with having to eat with two kindergarteners?” All control was lost at that point.  I was crying.  When I am at the tears point an extreme lack of oxygen then follows.  I nearly had to be carried out on a stretcher. Wouldn’t have been near as funny had we all not been giving each other so much carp over being “pigs”.

This restaurant was the same one that my sons and daughter started bouncing at various intervals to the tuba in the Mariachi background music.  I felt like I was in a Spanish version of “Whack-a-Mole”.  You could even pronounce it whatckamoley to sound like guacamole.  All that was missing was the club.  I left that by my bed at home.

Since I won’t leave you a recipe, I will leave you a piece of “Eating Out” advice.  Don’t like cooking, but can give advice:  Never and I mean never allow the waitress in a Mexican restaurant to sit you by the bathrooms.  You need at least 150 feet downwind. This is not pretty people.  Not pretty and very wrong.  I have found that there are a lot of people who can’t hold down their Mexican food.  This is not something you want to smell while eating.

So there is the advice for whatever it is worth.

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