I have two sons that could eat anyone out of house and home.  When either one of them turn sideways they disappear.  One of them is 6′ 2″ by 6.2″ the other one is 5′ 6″ by 5.6″. So I am not sure where it all goes.  I think I lost my good metabolism on them when I gave birth to them.  Probably like most boys they are ready to eat again not even after 1 hour has passed after a meal.

Unfortunately I am at that state in my life that I am so over cooking for the “masses”.  I would rather graze than dirty a dish.  Take this morning for instance.  I tried to make apple pie turnovers…..  After the first turnover, or whatever it looked like, I decided to do a pie instead.  Hoping it would be more successful.  I spilled apple chunks all over the floor, cornstarch down the front of me.  The container that had my cinnamon and sugar mix had a hole that  it went all over the floor.  I spilled flour on the floor and when I tried to put the crust on the top of the pie, It looked like the worst plastic surgery nightmare ever.  I threw the pie and the one turnover and some pie crust cookies in the oven and proceeded to clean up my mess.

I managed to burn the pie crust cookies and my apple pie blew a hole in it that leaked down in the bottom of the stove causing plumes of smoke to infiltrate all parts of the house.  I have had enough of cooking!

After doing some waste of time housework, I decided to work on some homework.  I was about as frustrated with that as I was with cooking and was about to throw in the towel.  My 14-year-old son comes in and asks what is for lunch.  I really tried to avoid the question because let’s face it, I retired from kitchen work today.  I told him to give me a minute to finish the exercise I was on and I would try to find him something to eat.

Not even 5 minutes had passed and I hear him moaning, “I am starving, must have food”.  Then in his comedic style he starts carrying on the following conversation with himself:

“Maybe I will have to go in the back yard and dig in the holes for mice with Sport (a neighborhood dog that pretty much scrounges up its own food and has for years).  Or maybe I could go eat some weeds.  Oh, or maybe I could go look for the cow leg the neighbor’s dog had the other day.  It might still have some meat on it.  Hopefully I won’t have to go find the dog poo I threw over the fence yesterday.”

At this point I was laughing so hard, I was crying.  I could no longer ignore him.  I finally had to succumb to cooking again.  Wow….he really knows how to manipulate me.

I drew this picture of my handsome sons.  I know I don’t do them justice, but I hit the physique just about right.  Unicycle shirts and all!

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