I love Sunday’s.  It is my day of rest.  No worries, no cares…usually.  Yesterday was more stressful than usual. I fed my family, put my husband to bed because he had to go into work and then I kicked back in the recliner for a little nap.  It was short-lived.

When I sit down or lay down within 1 minute I am covered in dogs.  Since it has turned off cold the dogs have decided that I am their own personal electric blanket.  Yesterday I had kicked back less than 30 seconds when they came running.  Aaaaarrrgh!

It doesn’t matter if there is room or not, they try to fit their fat lard bodies into any crevasse they can find.  While laying there, they both looked perfectly comfortable.  Neither one of them cared that I was cramping up in various positions and in body parts because of them.  Someone came into the kitchen and opened the fridge thus enticing one of the lard balls to parkour it off of my lap diving for the fridge before it shut.  When she left the lap position she was in, the other lard ball took her place within 1.2 seconds.  Sprawled out and went to sleep within 0.2 seconds.

When the first dog came back to regain her warm spot on my lap she realized it had been stolen.  If dogs could talk, I am sure a whole string of insults would have come out of her mouth at that moment.  At this point I was in and out of sleep.  Waking slightly every time one of them moved.  She decided to take the only available spot.  Thing is….there was no available spot, she invented one.

Can I just say that dogs are no respecters of body parts.  They don’t care where or what they step on.  As I lay there in a slumber, the dog who lost her spot decided she wanted on the back of the chair.  She stepped on my neck, then my face and then parted my scalp trying to get comfortable on top of the chair.  Not to mention pulling out half of my hair.  At this point I was ready to throw both of them out into the cold just to make a point.  That they don’t own the house, my head, the furniture, the fridge, the bathroom or my bed despite what they think.

She finally made it to the top and settled down and I dozed off again after giving her a “scotch blessing” as my mother would call it.  I am still suffering from what happened next.  The only thing I can think of is that she started falling off of the chair and started kicking to grip with her claws to keep herself on.  In the process I was kicked in the temple about 4 times the hard part of her back knee.  People die from that you know.

I lay there moaning because despite how skinny a pug’s leg is..it has a lot of strength in it.  Twenty four hours later and my temple is still throbbing.

Later on  my son was laying on the floor and got attacked by both of them.  They had one shirt sleeve in one mouth and his shorts in the other.  He was yelling for help in between laughs.  He called for me to rescue them.  When I got in the room, I felt like I was watching a nature show with two grizzlies going at each other.  I threatened to video tape them and make it viral thus starting the beginning of the extinction of pugs entirely because no one would want one after seeing that behavior.  I don’t think the threat was taken seriously in any way, shape or form.

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