In continuing my quest for some resemblance of sanity this Christmas season, I have not found any solace.  If I keep doing stupid things I am never going to recover.

Yesterday I was asked to say the opening prayer in church.  So I decided to sit on the stand before church started so that I wouldn’t have to walk up during the opening song and draw extra attention to myself.  Well….despite my best efforts to not draw that extra attention to myself, I went to sit down on the folding seat right when it folded back up.  I fell to the floor grabbing the chair in front of me which startled the young man who occupied it.  I then had to apologize for my complete and utter stupidity.  This ranks in the top 10 worst things that can happen to you while wearing a dress.

To add to my frustration, I was so excited to win a pair of snowboard pants for my son on eBay. They were Italian made and I got them for $11.  Whoohoo! I had contacted the seller to see what the inseam length was.  I opened my email this morning only to find out that I had purchased my son a pair of Lederhosen snowpants.  He is 6′ 1″ and the inseam was 24 inches.  Not going to happen.  No amount of stretching will get that kid into those pants.

I then discovered this morning a new use for hair wax.  To give your armpit hairs that piecey, modern look that is the rage all these days, apply hair wax instead of deodorant.  Of course this won’t work if you shave your armpits…(which I do).  So in that case, it turns out to be only a case of mistaken identity that  should never be used.  It only glues your armpit to itself.    Leaving you to wonder……”What the carp did I just do to myself?”

Uuuggghh!  Will this ever end???

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