Tag Archive: BB guns


Hair Stand Up On End Scared

I hope to never ever have to repeat what I had to do today.  Scared does not even begin to describe what I was feeling.  I wonder why things like this always happen when my husband is too far away to do anything and it has to be done immediately.  Not much good can come from this.

We had a rental home that some renters trashed and has been “contaminated” if you know what I mean. The health department posted the house as unsafe.  It has been sitting vacant for about a year until something can be done with it.

The neighborhood used to be all old people with nice yards and friendly neighbors. It is now ridden with crime and is a very scary place.

For some reason, my 17-year-old daughter decided to show her friend the house.  I got a call shortly after from her telling me that it looked like someone had been in the house.  I asked her how she got in and she told me through the back door, which was supposed to be locked.  I told her to leave, which thank goodness, she already had.

After consulting my husband at work, I decided to call the police.  We have had drug and alcohol problems at the house before.  The last time, I had to go with the cops and one of the neighbors figured it was his business that I was out in the backyard looking for stuff.  I was actually looking for needles which someone had burned, but I wasn’t about to tell him that.  Anyway, the neighbors are very scary and probably are the guilty parties.

I told the dispatcher that I needed to come in to see how they had gotten in the house and make sure no windows were broken and try to lock things up.  I told her that I did not want to come in there by myself.  So I waited for the police to call me.  When they called I told them the circumstances and said that I needed to come in and make sure it was locked up and didn’t want to be there by myself.  They told me they would check things out and make sure it was secure then call me.  Well they called back and told me it looked like they had moved out because they didn’t see anything.  At this time I was actually able to tell them the reasons why we believed someone had been in the house and that there was a strange chair on the front porch.  Well I guess the chair was there, but they didn’t seem too concerned.  They then asked me if I was going to come in and secure the house and I told them yes.

I had to take my 14-year-old son in there with me so I would not have to be alone.  Not knowing if someone was lurking around a dark corner.  The picture above looks exactly like what it looks like going into the basement.  So much so that my husband thought I had taken this picture of the basement.  There is no power on in the house.  This is why I had to do it because it would be dark when my husband got home.

My son and I got there and he did not want to get out of the car.  I was packing my “friend” Walther and my taser and my son had his BB gun locked and loaded.  When we got to the house one of the neighbors in the back apartment was watching us out of their window.  My son refused to get out of the car.  I was afraid for him to stay there by himself and afraid for him to go into the house with me.  I finally got him out and told him to stay with me.  We checked the parameter and found the possible entrance.  There were beer bottles all over the place.  They were in the garage and in the front yard all over the back yard.

We finally got up the nerve to go in and check things out.  We made sure all of the windows that could lock were locked and then came the dreaded basement.  My son begged and pleaded with me to not go down the stairs.  I had to.  I had to make sure all of the windows were locked.  I kept thinking that the cops had just come, although there was a window of opportunity that someone could have come back in.  I couldn’t see to go down the stairs and didn’t realize how dark they would be.  I turned the laser on on my gun on to give us some light.  There is a room just around the corner after you get to the bottom of the stairs that has no windows and no light.  Every hair on my neck stood up as I passed by that open door.  I could not see inside and my heart was nearly pounding out of my chest.  My son clung to the back of me with his finger on the trigger of his piece.

I checked the two other rooms which were fairly dark and was just waiting for someone to jump us.  Neither one of us wanted to walk past the “rock room” again, but had to to get out of the house.  I shone the laser in the room carefully to make sure nothing was hiding in the corners.  The whole time I could feel the pulse in my head it was pounding so hard.

We hurried, well nearly sprinted, back up the stairs.  We made good time getting into the truck and getting out of there.  I could not believe the cops left me to do this by myself.  They knew that there have been drug problems in the neighborhood and have been called to the house.  I wish they would have waited for me to get there.

Never….never will I go in that place like that again.  I have probably scarred my son.  Poor kid.  I thought there would be safety in numbers, but perhaps it would have been better to leave him at home.  I think both of us will have nightmares of dark basements and hidden corners.  It really makes me mad to think someone has the audacity to go into anyone’s home and do whatever they want to it.  They have left tons of cigarette butts on the porch.  They sit right out in the open like they own the place without concern of anyone seeing them.  Messed up!  Too much booze and drugs to even begin to think clearly and I have to risk me and my son’s life to protect our property from people like that.  Aggravates me to no end.

My sister told me that maybe taking a gun was not a good idea in case I got over taken.  I am not sure.  Who knows what could have been waiting for us.  I am just feisty enough that if someone is going to take me out, they are going to get the carp beat out of them in the process.

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PETA Reform School

I am opening up a PETA reform school.  It will be held right here at my house.  Guaranteed or your money back!

I am a true believer that God put animals on this earth for our enjoyment and for our sustenance.  There are animals to enjoy and animals to eat.  There are actually some that border in between, but I am not going to discuss cats right now.  I will take that up with the Boss when I get to heaven.

The ” Mr. Hyde”  in me has started to resurface after a few months of dormancy.  My children have turned to hiding my weapons of attack and banned me from using theirs.  What is this world coming to that the children rule the house?  Anyway, I need to explain the situation.

As of late, I have been having an animal control problem.    This didn’t just start last week, this has been going on for years.  Hence the reason why my patience has grown thin.

When the problem first started, I would patiently go out and shew the animals (goats, cows, horses, chickens, ducks, pigs, pot belly pig) back into their yard.  One particular week, I put 5 cows back into their yard 7  times in one day.  This problem has gone on for years.  I would come home and find my newly planted trees chewed to the ground.  I would find goats in apple tree stripping the branches clean.  One day it was so bad with the goats that I came home to find my sister, who lived across the street at the time, sitting in my front yard in a lawn chair.  I asked her what was up and she told me she had chased the goats out 4 times and decided to stay to protect my trees until we got home.

Another week I was constantly chasing 6 piglets out of my yard.  They would burrow in my flowers and destroy them.  As these piglets got bigger, they became more of a pain.  My husband got his gallbladder out and the first night home, he heard the dog barking and found the pigs burrowing up our septic tank. They made their way through the neighborhood burrowing up three septic tanks.  Our grass unfortunately has never grown back.  My husband could have done some serious damage to himself running around like that after just having surgery.  He was up most of the night because the pigs kept coming back.

This forced us to put a fence around our back yard.  It cost us a lot of money, but we were also losing money with damaged property.  We finally had to not rent our land out anymore because of the lack of animal control.  You would have thought that this would have solved the problem, um….no.  We left the fence around the field, but would still find various animals in the yard.  I have gotten pretty tired of finding cow, goat and horse poo in my grass, chicken and duck poo on the sidewalk, and duck and chicken eggs laying wherever they are dropped.

This my dear friends has turned Dr. Jekyl into Mr. Hyde.  The week we had problems with the pigs, I decided that nice wasn’t working.  Pigs can be scary and mean, so I brought out my trusty slingshot.  Actually I admit, I bought it specifically with the pigs in mind.  One windy day, my dog started barking and here came the herd of pigs headed right for our yard.  I grabbed a bunch of rocks and ran to the outside and hid behind a shed.  I didn’t want to get attacked, nor did I want witnesses to what I was about to do.  Rocks don’t fly well with slingshots.  You can’t determine their accuracy because of their odd shapes.  Consider that a warning.  I loaded and pulled to release only to hit the shed at close range (2 inches) and the rock came back and hit my thumb.  I seriously thought I broke it.  I went into my bedroom to lick my wounds and to hide my indiscretions from my kids.  I didn’t want them knowing I had been shooting at the pigs.  I ended up having to go to the medical clinic and was horrified when the doctor asked me how it happened.  I asked him, “Do I really have to say?”  He told me it would help to determine damage I did.  I thought the doctor was going to fall on the floor laughing.  That was a first for him.  Had never treated an injury that had happened like that before.  Then I got ripped into by my daughter when we got in the car who told me that I should not have been shooting them to begin with.   A few months later, she and my husband had a run in with the pot belly pig that fenced him and her.  My husband’s weapon of choice…..flyswatter.  What?  That doesn’t work.  He and my daughter had to climb the fence to get away and I look out the window to see them both on top and my husband swinging at the pig with a flyswatter.   As the pig was going at their legs.

This began my “life of crime”.  I realized that no slingshot was going to work for me.  So, I purchased a BB gun at a garage sell.  This BB gun was only $6.  It turned out costing us $156 because my son shot the window out of our suburban the day I bought the gun.  This was not good.  This day, my husband was Mr. Hyde.  I seriously saved my son’s life this day.  He still owes me for that.

I practiced and practiced until I have became quite proficient with the BB gun.  I nailed a critter climbing my apple tree from about 200 feet away.  Of course that took about 30 pumps to get it that far.  I found that shooting the BB gun was a lot more affective and I didn’t have to run or get kicked, attacked, or stepped on.  It got to where all I would have to do is pump  the gun and the animals would start running.  I called them Pavlov’s critters because I trained them to run at the sound.  Now I have only one rule.  I only aim for the butt.  If I don’t have a good shot at the butt, I don’t take it.  I don’t want to mame the poor critters.  So I still do have some shred of decency left in me. (I just envisioned the scene where Luke Skywalker is telling Vader that there is still some good him and he knows he can be reformed).

My kids have nearly put a stop to all my madness, to the likes of which I am extremely disappointed.  As of this past week, we have been running a cattle day spa in my yard.  I will leave, come home and find various cows laying in the shade of my lawn asleep.  All they are missing are the cucumbers slices over their eyes and the mud packs on their faces.  They’ve got it on their butts….well, I don’ t think that is mud.  If one of my  kids are with me, the first thing they say is…”You are not going to shoot it”.  What?  There is no fun in that.  Yesterday, I found out that one of my sons went out and tried physically pushing them out of the yard.  They wouldn’t budge.  So I don’t know why I am catching so much carp from these people.  BB guns work, nothing else does.

Last night, we had a cow hanging with his ” homey”  in the yard and I went for my BB gun.  It was no where to be found.  This folks….is highly suspicious.  My son absolutely refused to let me use his and “didn’t” know where mine was.  So I told him that he could go get them out of the yard then.  Yeah, that didn’t work.

I had to take him and my other son to work and came home to find the “gang” still in the yard.  This time……it was only my husband and I and I went for the gun, swearing an oath of secrecy between the both of us.  I get this kind of evil giggle when I nail them in the butt.  I don’t know why I find that so funny.  That is kind of messed up I guess.  My husband came into my daughter’s bedroom finding me in the sniper position shooting out of her window.  It was working great.  That cow’s speed was quite impressive.  Didn’t know cows could run that fast.  I managed to keep them out until this morning.  They are back, like a bad nightmare.

So I have torn my house apart and cannot find my gun.  I do have a Walther P22 if worse comes to worse, but I won’t kill an animal unless it is going to kill me or one of my kids.  It might get a lot uglier around this house before it gets prettier.  Because if I can’t find my BB gun, carp is going to fly and everyone better watch out.  My  children think I am evil.  My husband yells,”Get the gun” at me every time something is in the yard.  I am trying to come to terms with who I really am Dr. Jekyl or Mr. Hyde or…who I want to be.  I have to admit, the thrill of the target does get the old heart beating faster.