Tag Archive: fatherhood

This post is for my wonderful husband who I believe my sons take after.  I know my husband would have done something like this as a child.  Or at least I am going to pretend it came from his genes.

A couple of years ago, I was at the hospital with my father and I received a call from home.  When I answered the phone, my son said,”Jesse and I made the front page of the newspaper”.  Really, does any mother want to hear this? My first question was, “What the heck did you do?”  Panic set in because they are teens.

We have a habit of dressing up as a family for Halloween every year and the Fall before this incident, we all dressed up as Star Wars characters.  These two boys decided to be a clone and a stormtrooper.  This particular day was in the summer and it was about 100 degrees. They decided they were going to do something off the wall before school started again.  They dressed up in their costumes and decided to parade themselves up and down the street.  Well two journalists from our local paper were on their way to a nearby town to cover a field fire and saw these two and decided that this story had to be more interesting.

My first response was that I was embarrassed, then I laughed.  I had to give them props for doing something so crazy.  This particular week was the county fair and they always hand out free newspapers to everyone that comes. As we entered the gates, there all over the free paper were my two sons in all  their glory.  I later received a call from a group of Star War fans that dress up for different Charity events.  They were going to show up at my door and surprise my boys, Darth Vader and all but they couldn’t get everyone’s schedules to line up.  That would have been so funny.  My sons would have been all over that.

One of my assignments at school is to make a family website.  I have been learning Photoshop so I decided to have a little fun with the picture.  I put my two sons on Endor.  This of course, made them laugh and then I got schooled on who is not at certain places together in different Star Wars movies.  O.K.  I really don’t care about that, I just thought it was funny.  Two days ago, I added an Ewok for the fun of it.  I know it isn’t perfect, but for my first attempt at doing something like this in Photoshop, it didn’t turn out too bad.

Myhusband and kids are my life.  They make me laugh everyday and I would not change them in any way.  I love their little quirks and all the things that make each of them so different.  They all make me laugh in so many different ways.  My life would be so boring without them.


Kids and Codes

I will be the first to admit that if my kids have a smart mouth, they probably get it from me.  My husband is usually pretty quiet.  Many times I have had to ask him why he didn’t slap me before I said something I shouldn’t have.  I would have thought that after 20+ years of marriage he could read my mind and stop the insult before it came out.  I am never going to make it to heaven.

My children are at many different stages of me in their lives.  You know how your kids do something that leaves you speechless and when you are about to say something you remember doing something  just like it when you were a kid.  Let’s just say that I used to beat the carp out of boys in elementary school.  I tolerated very little disrespect from the opposite gender.  Of course if I was in school now-a-days I would have a rap sheet a mile long.  I remember sitting on the bus once and this kid grabbed my head and my friends and knocked them together.  I truly believe I saw stars.  This was unacceptable behavior and so I grabbed a nice hardbound book I had in tow and clubbed the kid across the face.  I wasn’t a mean kid, I just didn’t tolerate bullying at any stages. 

Sarcasm is one of my traits.  I have unfortunately passed it on to some of my offspring.  I am not sure when this became part of their nature.  I am not sure when it became part of mine.  I don’t think my parents were like that, but I can name at least 4 other siblings who bear this same trait.

To give you an exampleof this: I am sitting at the computer trying to do my homework.  I hear in a whispered voice behind me, “Here we observe a Nerd in its natural habitat”.  Like some nature show or something is playing and the announcer does not want to disturb the “scene”.  I turn to see my son looking at me.  Obviously the comment was directed toward me.  I just give him the all-knowing “death” glare.  Of course, it really doesn’t affect him at all.  I am so numbed by this behavior that it rarely surprises me anymore. 

Or there was the day that I was driving down the road with my daughter and I ran over a plastic bag that was in the road.  My daughter pipes up and says, “Hey, what did you run yourself over for?”  I was a little slow on this one.  About 3 minutes later I realized that she had referred to me as “an old bag”.  Of course, I started laughing.  If I thought my kids were serious, this would probably devastate me,  but I know that they are just kidding and really do love me  as I do them.  It makes for some good laughs.  If you can’t laugh at yourself, you are in a world of hurt.  Besides, I give it back ten fold.

Even my oldest daughter who is usually the kindest will get a dig in at some point over my age or something.  I had an incident that happened at our local Kmart that I will NEVER live down as long as I live.  It was not pleasant and I will never fess up to what happened, but it is the family joke.  When something terrible and funny happens at the same time, my children refer to that as “Pulling a Kmart”.  There goes the knife, right through the back.  I have made each of them swear an oath that they will never repeat that story and they better never. 

Code words are great.  You can say something that is totally different from what is going on, but everyone understands.  For instance, we have many movie lines that we quote from on a daily basis.  Napoleon Dynamite has a lot of great ones.  “Where’s your locker?”.  In the movie Deb has food stuck on her face while asking Napoleon where his locker is.  In our family, when someone says, “Where’s Your Locker” it means…..you have food on your face.  Thus the poor person who has food on their face can quietly remove it without being directly pointed out to everyone in the room.  It is great!

Yeah, we are all a little bit off from a full picnic basket but it is a lot more fun that way.  No one should go one day without finding something to laugh about.  It is healthy to laugh and makes you feel good.  My husband is a standing joke in our family because of certain things he does. He had a very dry sense of humor.  This is what drew me to him to begin with.   He has to really find something funny to bust out laughing.  My kids are always teasing him over this.  One particular night we were watching some old episodes of The Incredible Hulk.  This particular one the Hulk throws a grizzly bear through the air.  Now…..everyone in the room could tell it was a stuffed bear.  It looked really funny, but what was the funniest was that my husband was laughing so hard he was crying.  My kids were laughing more at him than the show because they had NEVER seen him laugh that hard.  It is usually just a short 2-4 second chuckle.  This was roll-on-the-ground funny to him.   Something at that particular time in his life made this scene extremely funny.  We still laugh about it. 

I truly believe in spending time with my kids.  If that means sometimes playing video games that perhaps most adults wouldn’t or shouldn’t play, I will do it to spend time with them and know exactly what they are playing.  We were playing a game one night and trying to teach my husband the controls.  We thought he had it figured out and so we started playing.  I was kicking butt during this particular part of the game.  At the end of each section it brings up the scores and on the scoreboard the person playing “Thor” had a big fat zero.  No points whatsoever.  My husband starting laughing and began making smart comments like, “Who’s Thor?”  (It was as if he was telling the person playing as Thor that they were a complete idiot).  Well we sat there laughing for an hour when one of my boys said, “Um, Dad that is you”.  Another code word is created.  When someone does something that they think someone else did…we ask “Who’s Thor?”.  Then everyone starts laughing.  My poor husband takes it all in stride.  What a good man.  No one else could put up with me or the four mini-me’s I gave birth too.

Here is the Hulk clip: http://youtu.be/55nFsKUSK9M