Tag Archive: Jumpy


So the saying “Jumpier than a one-legged man in a butt kicken contest” could not describe me more.  I don’t like being scared.  Nothing is worse than watching a scary movie and having someone scare you just before you are “supposed” to get scared or having someone come up behind you unexpectedly.  I had an incident that happened to me a few years ago that almost ruined my life as I know it.

I used to walk religiously at 6:00 a.m. everyday, 6 days a week.  Never missed.  With this came the ability to recognize cars and know when they pass.  Most of them would pass me at the same time of morning.  One particular morning I was walking and I came upon this really sharp corner.  I heard this truck coming and I knew how this particular driver drove.  I decided to cross the street rather than run the risk of this kid hitting me on the inside corner.

As I crossed the road and turned the corner, there sat a car that was not supposed to be there.  I immediately recognized it as a car that should have been passing me about 30 minutes later from this time.  I didn’t realize that someone was in the car until I walked by.  Thanks to the crazy kid driver in the truck, I was not forced to walk directly by the car, I was  on the other side of the road.  When I realized someone was in the car and it was parked behind some piles of dirt, things started feeling weird to me.  All the hairs on my neck started standing up and I knew that something was not right with the situation.  I immediately pulled out my cell phone and called me sister who lived across the street from me.  My husband was at work and I needed someone quick.  While not letting this guy know I suspected anything, I kept walking in the same direction.  He pulled out and turned the corner only to turn around and come back up the street behind me.

I held my breath and walked as fast as I could, all the time waiting for my brother-in-law to show up.  The car drove by me slowly and as soon as it was a hundred feet or so in front of me, I turned and hauled butt so fast that I nearly sat the road on fire.  My brother-in-law was just up the street and got me just seconds from the time I turned around.

I learned from this experience to never be predictable in some situations.  I also have become extremely jumpy and I blame a lot of it on this situation and also from a lot of break-ins or attempted break-ins to the homes I lived in as a kid.  I have many weapons by my bed and my husband is scared to come into the house unannounced.

Well, tonight he unexpectedly got me real good.  I think he knows when he can scare me and not have the carp beat out of him as opposed to, “I know better than to do it to her now”.

We were going to go look at a couch a lady was selling and my son was riding with me, while my husband was riding with our neighbor.  We were at our the house just getting ready to leave when my sons says, “Mom, did you check the car to make sure no one was in it?”  I told him no, that dad had just been in the Durango and I knew no one was in there.  “Still”, he said, we should check.  This was more for his benefit I think.  He turned on the inside light while we sat in the seats and looked behind and then turned off the light.  All the while telling me that I should check things like that. While we were thus having this conversation, unbeknownst to me, my husband had walked up to the truck and knocked on my window.  It was dark outside and I could barely see him.

Can I just say that I absolutely needed a new pair of pants.  I nearly jumped into my son’s lap.  My husband was lucky I wasn’t packing any “heat”.  We were a couple of miles up the road before my heart stopped pounding.

This little side effect I have has been a joke in the family.  A couple of Halloween’s ago, I was at my sister’s house and we had just got done doing the whole trick-or-treating thing.  We walked out the door to leave and me being completely stupid did not notice when my husband opened the door that my nieces husband was hiding in the back seat with a mask on.  I was laughing and joking with the family and jumped in the car.  No one else got in.  I wondered for a split second what was taking them so long.  I looked out my window and then turned to look at the driver side door to see where my husband was, when I came face to face with “The Mask”.  I screamed a blood curdling scream, leapt out of the car nearly slamming the nephew in the door.  This nearly killed me.  I cannot begin to tell you had long after this incident I shook.  The closest thing to a near death experience he and I may ever experience.

Try as I might, I cannot overcome this problem.  I just get more weapons to add to my arsenal.  I really don’t think this is helping the situation.  A jumpy woman with loads of weapons is an accident waiting to happen.  Perhaps someday I will be the one getting the last laugh.  Perhaps…..

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Edgy Mom

Saying that I am edgy is definitely not admitting to a fashion sense all of my own.  I do have that, but not what my children would want to be seen in public with.  No, I am not talking about that kind of “edgy”, but more like “a cat on a hot tin roof” kind of edgy.  Certain experiences throughout my youth have caused me to be very jumpy and yes, paranoid.  These are not secrets that you want your spouse knowing about you not to mention letting your teenage children know about you.  Mine has accidentally found out by their own observance.

My kids are constantly telling me how paranoid and jumpy I am.  I guess I am, but I do have some good excuses to be and besides being paranoid to a point makes you more alert to your surroundings.  This can be a good thing.  Unfortunately, I get grief from my kids all of the time because of how I am.  I have told them many times that if anyone ever grabs me to do harm, even if I die…they won’t have a problem finding the perp because he will look like he has totally had the carp beat out of him twice.  (I have to say carp because my children told me I shouldn’t say crap).

I have a small dresser by my bed that contains various items that could be used as self-protection.  I don’t think I will list them, some of them might be illegal to own.  Anyway, my husband works various shifts and has told me on many occasions that he would rather stay outside all night than to walk in on me in the dark unannounced.  The bat would probably be the first thing I would grab since my P22 is a little harder to get to.  He thinks it is funny to sit on the couch by me while watching scary movies just so he can grab my leg during an intense part  to see me jump.  I remember watching “Signs” and nearly losing it when the alien leg came out of the corn field. I am not sure this is healthy or not and I am not getting into that discussion with anyone.  Because I am who I am.  Just don’t sneak up behind me and I won’t black your eye. 

To get to my point, my children have used this information against me all of the time.  My son’s think it is funny to scare me.  My husband has seen me clear air many times when I didn’t know he was in the same room with me.  Well last night my daughter thought it would be funny for me to hear the video I will add at the end of this post.  I have to add that along with my jumpiness, I am also claustrophobic.  My  brother rolled me up in a carpet when I was about 3 or 4 years old and I freaked out.  Have never recovered from that. I remember trying to move a couch down a flight of stairs by myself and I got stuck in-between the couch and stairs trying to unjam it from the railing.  I thought to myself,”I am going to die here.  Jay will come home and find my rotting carcus stuck in this hole”.  It was not funny at the time.  Maybe now, but not then. This is why this video freaked me out.  

Whenever I hear, “Mom you want to hear something?”, or “Mom you want to see this freaky video?”  I know that I am about to get into something I don’t want to get into.  This happened last night and of course I performed exactly for my daughter the way she expected.  Swatting at my head and ears like a stupid idiot.  So to those poor souls out there that suffer as I do, this one is for you.  Just remember listen with headphones in and close your eyes.  It is a wild ride!