Tag Archive: Love


bullyI have been thinking a lot lately on why people get so offended by the smallest of things. Sometimes it doesn’t even relate to them personally, but they choose to be offended by it or they seem to make it about themselves so they can thrive on that feeling of being offended. I sometimes think that perhaps they have lived their life day after day looking for something to outrage them. Feeling deeply that perhaps because of some incident that happened in their life as a youth or adult gives them the right to do so.Twisting things that are said to help feed the rage inside them to give them a reason to be offended, hate or mistrust. I wonder how they can live day after day with this kind of drama in their life. Not one of us was born filled with hate. Hate is of Satan. Taking offense to every little thing that happens in your life is of Satan. When you choose to be offended or take something wrong, then you have chosen to follow Satan. I personally will choose to be happy. The thought of living every minute of my day trying to find something to offend me is exhausting. I will give the human race some credit. I do not believe that most people start their day by saying or thinking, “Hey, what am I going to say to Jim, Bob or Nancy today to offend them”. I think most people don’t consciencely do that. None of us was born with a communication manual stapled to our butts. It is a skill that many of us take a lifetime to master. I see it as a parent. Things I tell my children to help them in their lives frequently are seen as, “You don’t love me”, or “You hate me”. When in fact it is the complete opposite. They choose not to see it that way, because perhaps it is easier to take offense than to learn and grow. When I take a step back and look at what I said and how I said it, I can see where perhaps I could have worded some things differently that would have made a difference, but the child also wanted to see it the way they wanted to see it. If we all were perfectionists at communication, do you think some will still choose to be offended? Probably, because as long as Satan exists, it will exist. In junior high, I was relentlessly bullied. It was awful. To this day, I have not even told my children what was said to me, because I do not want them to see the flaws that these three young men apparently saw in me. Every morning having to stand at the bus stop with these three boys was a trial. They humiliated me in some of the worst kinds of ways during one of the most awkward stages of life. It couldn’t have been worse in my mind. One day my friend that was with me, that usually stood up for me, even laughed at one of their jokes. That devastated me and made things worse because I felt even more vulnerable with no one to have my back. I was a shy kid and it took a lot for me to speak up let alone make friends. One day I decided to try out for the school talent show with some encouragement from my parents. I made it and ended up singing. It was scary, and I think I was more happy that I lived through it than for my actual performance. Afterward, I ran into these young men in the hall. They proceeded to poke fun at my singing and humiliated me in front of others. I almost didn’t sing again publicly because of them. If not for loving parents who persistently encouraged me, that probably would have been the end of my singing. One day while on the school bus, one of these young men got separated from the other two. He happened to be in front of me and my friend. I remember taking advantage of this situation and we plagued him with every mean personal attack we could come up with. He sat there silently taking it all. When my friend and I were done, I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I was sick. Sick of the way I had just acted. I had just become the very thing I loathed, a bully. I don’t care if he and his cousins treated me like that, it was not who I was and not how I wanted to be. That was a changing point in my life. I chose from that time forward to never treat someone like that again no matter what and have tried like crazy to teach my children to be the same way. If I would have used this childhood experience to base my assumptions and judgments on others and to dictate my relationships with others, I would have one of the most miserable lives ever. I would never trust, nor would I ever be able to fully love or feel love. Who would want to live like that? How would that dictate the way I taught my children? That you should never trust anyone because they will hurt you or offend you? How terrible would that be to start your children on a course like that to travel throughout their lives, passing it on to generation after generation. God wants us to be happy. We dictate that emotion in our own lives. patrickplungerWe choose to be happy because of life’s experiences or we choose to be miserable because of life’s experiences. I CHOOSE to be happy despite what I may or may not think someone said about me or thinks about me. There is enough hate, misunderstanding and intolerance in this world. We need more love, acceptance, understanding and happiness. If it doesn’t start with ourselves who will it start it? Because our children will be just like us.

The ShepardI’m a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Some know us as Mormons. I am sure that many have heard about the Ordain Women movement that a member of our church has started. I will refrain from giving my opinion on her and the movement itself. I try to align myself with the Prophet. I have a perfect faith that God is in charge of His church and when the prophet speaks, God speaks. I do not doubt. I will however like to mention my distaste for the people who are so quick to have an opinion on a situation without them even have one iota of a clue of what is going on.

The lady that is a member of our church and started the movement of “Ordain Women” is clearly struggling with not being able to hold the priesthood in her life. I don’t know her name, because I haven’t been following any of it. Got my own issues to deal with. I of course like many have been raised in this church, know what the Priesthood is and although I do not hold it, I have access to it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 52 weeks a year. Thus it is not anything I believe I need to hold in my life to make me any different from what I already am. These ladies are entitled to the very same no matter their stations in life. Our church is set up to accommodate single mothers, single sisters and widowers who do not have a priesthood holder in their home. Case in point: One night I was talking to a very close acquaintance of mine. She is a single mom and has been for many years. She has really struggled with the effects of divorce and raising children. With divorce comes bitter feelings and even from her own children. She was crying one night after having an argument with one of her kids. She was telling me how hard it is to be a single mom and sometimes feeling the negative attitudes from her kids. and no husband to stand up for her or help her. She was very overwhelmed and struggling terribly. She felt like she needed a priesthood blessing, and there was no one she felt she could call to give her one. Her father lived a couple of hours away and he was the only one she had in her life to help her. When I hung up from her, I immediately called her Bishop. He made contact with her within a day and in turn called her home teachers. They came and offered her the service she so desperately needed. This is how sisters of our church have access to the priesthood.

On to what I wanted to discuss. Excommunication in our church is a serious matter. It is one that leaders do not take lightly. The church is set up to help members try to fix what is going on their lives without them having to excommunicate someone. They get many opportunities to change and set things straight. It is all up to them in what they do with those opportunities. In early periods of the church, excommunication was more prevalent than what it is now. Someone has to do some serious sins without a desire to change before the church considers excommunication. I am not an authority on it by any means. Nor do I want anyone thinking I am. It is a serious and sad situation. My father was in a bishopric where he had to be present for church disciplinary actions for young adults in the area where he served. He came home so sad and so depressed because he had seen young members of the church have to go through this. He never told us anything because it is a confidential and private matter, but  I saw firsthand how much it hurt him.  It hurt him because of the chances they were given that the didn’t take advantage of. Thank goodness there was only one he had to experience in his 4-5 years serving.

The thing I have a hard time with this Ordain Women leader is that if I were in her position and I was on the verge of losing my membership in a church that I loved with every fiber of my being, I would not go to the New York Times and tell them about it. To me, this says a lot about this person. It says a lot about what she is trying to accomplish. It says a lot about what she holds sacred and dear to her in her life. There is absolutely no way I would want the world knowing I was being kicked out of church. With that said, I do not know fully what is going on and will reserve my opinion on what I think should happen. I do know that if it happens to her, it will be a decision that will be made with a lot of thought and prayer. We love our members and hate to see any of them leave or be kicked out. We are about saving souls, not losing souls.

I have 3 young adult children. One daughter in particular has seen within her circle of friends a split that  this threat of excommunication is causing. It has saddened her greatly because a lot of her friends are automatically calling judgments on the leaders without knowing the full story. Everyone is jumping on the opinion boat to give their two cents worth and quite frankly, not one of those kids have sat in any meetings that (Ok, I am going to have to look the Ordain Women leader’s name up because I keep wanting to say Katy Perry and I know that isn’t right…just a minute..) Kate Kelly has been in with church leaders. They only read what is written, hear what is said then form their “Only true and correct” opinions off of that. It’s like trying to make good judgments based on gossip. You will never find the truth until you search the source for it and then realize that there is always two sides to every story.

Our family just went through a very difficult situation where this type of thing happened. My son was calling around asking people if they had any old metal he could haul off to the recycle place because he was trying to earn money to buy a car for an automotive class he was taking. So he and his buddy had permission from the people they called to collec this metal and haul it off. About a week after they had collected this metal, we had an officer come to our door. Apparently when one of my son’s friends had told him he could have some metal at a house they had just moved out of, unfortunately being teens the property boundaries weren’t made all that clear. Without knowing the exact boundary, or thinking he knew the boundary, my son and his friend hauled off an old cast iron sink that was buried in the mud just 4 feet from the property boundary. They also grabbed a tractor scraper in the same area. There was a ton of metal behind this area that they didn’t touch because they believed they were where they could take things.  As soon as we were alerted to the mistake, my son went the next day to the recycle place to see if it was still there. Unfortunately the sink wasn’t, but the scraper was recovered. My son even offered to mow lawns or anything to pay back for the sink, but it ended up him having to go to court where the charges were dismissed because the courts saw it as an honest mistake. In the meantime, rumors were flying around the town we lived in that he was going to jail, that he had gone into someone’s  house and took the sink out.  Basically that he was a thief. It was unbelievable some of the stuff people had been saying about him. People that he thought were his friends. Friends usually come straight to the source to get the truth. At least I would. These people knew my son. They should have known that he was not the type of person that would do that, yet they chose to listen to gossip and to spread it, instead of coming to my son and asking. The truth got more hidden every time the gossip was retold. During this time, he had also been trying to sell a jeep to help him get this car. He had someone come to the house, sign the title and pay for it and then when they went to drive off it wouldn’t start. The guy came back in and took his money back and told my son he would come back later to get it. He never came back despite my son calling him and trying to figure out what was going on. He wouldn’t return his calls or anything. After awhile we figured the guy wasn’t coming back. So we had a title he had signed which presented a problem with trying to sell it. We called the DMV and they told us we just needed a form to fill out explaining the situation. We got busy and forgot to get the form. None of us remembered we hadn’t gotten the form when my son ended up selling the jeep to a close friend of the family. The young man had only paid my son for half of what he was selling it for and my son was willing to let him pay the rest later. He took the title and none of us remembered to give them the form. My son had mentioned to the kid that we needed to get the title fixed, but we all forgot about it until the day the father of the boy showed up at our house. Pretty sure the boy forgot about it also.

I am not sure who was in more shock over the way this father reacted, my husband and I or my son. This father had a heated exchange with my son telling him that he had taken this jeep to the recycle place and because the title had someone else’s name on it he didn’t want to get charged with grand theft auto for cashing the check he got for it etc. My son felt that he was being accused of selling the jeep to someone and then turning around and selling it to someone else keeping the cash from both sales. What this father didn’t realize is that he himself was guilty of the very thing that he seemed to be accusing my son of. His son had not paid my son the other half of the money for the jeep. This father had sold something to someone else that did not fully belong to him. We could have by law taken him to court over this, but we don’t do that kind of thing. We discussed this in our home wondering if this father had heard rumors about our son and automatically assumed that my son was now a bad kid and was trying to rip him off. Only going off what he thought the situation was instead of taking the time to ask. Perhaps he was having a bad day and took it out on my son. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that what was once a cherished relationship, no longer seems to exist with this guy. We talked to our son and told him that perhaps he didn’t know that his son hadn’t paid for it in full. Which really doesn’t justify the behavior in anyway, but there are always two sides to every story. We expressed to our son the importance of not mis-treating this individual even though my son felt that he was wronged. I will not lie when I tell you that it was a very hard to deal with personally. I am still trying to get to a place where I can feel like I have fully forgiven this father.

My son took this to heart and was still patient with the man’s son, hoping that he would eventually pay him the remainder for the jeep. My son is pretty trusting, because he himself does pretty much what he says he will do so of course he assumes everyone is like him. One day while driving down the road, he saw this father pushing a 4-wheeler up the street. My son stopped to ask him if he needed  help. This man just looked at him and kept walking forward. Not once acknowledging my son’s willingness to help him out. My son told me a couple of days later what had happened. I told him how proud of him that I was that he was able to look past the bad experience between the two and reach out in friendship. This hurt my son greatly. I have not seen my son cry very often, but this made him cry. He did not understand why someone would treat him like this. To this day, this man will not look at my son. My son is determined to rise above and move on from the past. His son paid a little more on the jeep, but stills owes my son money, but he is looking past it and moving on. He told me that he isn’t sure if the kid forgot how much it was sold to him for after so long of not paying for it or what, but he is looking past that to save what relationship there is left there. I quite frankly don’t know how he does it, because it would be hard for me to keep trying after being knocked down a few times. Unfortunately this whole situation has caused some serious trust issues with my son. He has trust issues with those he once called friends. It has also opened all of our eyes to how wrong we can be with some situations if we don’t fully know the truth. My son was going through a very hard time. This man could have taken a step back and considered his approach and perhaps could have gotten the story behind what was going on. But he instead took the other road and lashed out in anger. We tried calling him, tried going to his house. We tried to contact him a few times to tell him what the situation was, but without any luck.

I bring this up because this is what happens when we are quick to make judgments without seeing the whole picture. We think we know everything, and think we are entitled to those judgments because of things we have only seen on the surface or things we have heard or because we are mad or various other reasons. I have found myself on the judgment end many times and am trying to make a vast improvement in the way I approach things. I myself hurt someone very close and his family and to this day am still having a hard time forgiving myself for it. Even though they have forgiven me. I hurt someone dear and that kind of situation is hard to recover from.

In my line of work, I meet people every day that you make quick judgments on for one thing or another. Even when someone comes in to apply for a job,  a quick judgment of that person is made without really knowing that person.

I used to work with a girl that I initially looked on her appearance and kind of  judged her, but quickly found she was a delightful young lady. After working with her for awhile I realized what a horrible life and childhood this girl had had. No child should have to go through that. To see where she was in life from what she came from was amazing. She told of a time when she was in a store with her husband. She was 19, She was about 7 months pregnant. She was wearing some leggings and had mentioned she didn’t want people seeing her underwear line, so she had chosen a more “uncomfortable” pair of underthings to wear to avoid that. As they stood in line to get their food, she  heard someone behind her say, “No wonder she is in the condition she is in with what she is wearing.” I was horrified first that someone would just say that to someone. Not to mention that the girl was married, standing with her husband. I thought to myself, “What right do they have saying something like that?”

Once I wanted to be friends with someone on Facebook. I truly wanted to get to know them. This person never accepted my “friend request”, but later informed me that they wanted to only be friends with people outside of our community. I was cool with that. Whatever. Then years later I find out that they had told someone that I didn’t like them because they hadn’t accepted my friend request. The ironic thing of it is, is that this individual is very hard to get to know. Sometimes they act like they want to talk to you, sometimes they don’t. So I am kind of the type of person that “doesn’t want to invade someone’s personal bubble”. So I am really not sure how to act around them. I very willing to talk when spoken to, but if I feel they don’t want to talk to me I back off. This person doesn’t see how they come off sometimes. In fact they have many friends on Facebook that are in the community. So if I wanted to go off of that, I could be the one seeing they didn’t like me, or didn’t want to be friends with me. They have never sent a friend request, and I have backed off from my initial request and let them use Facebook the way they seem fit.  The fact is that sometimes in relationships with others, we don’t take responsibility for our half of things not working. I could be more approachable if it wasn’t I was so cautious to not cross boundaries. Or they could perhaps say, “Hey, maybe the situation is not what it seems. Maybe she is just quiet and doing what I asked her to do”. No, we make quick judgments.

Why do we do this to each other? Why do we think we know everything about everyone without knowing anything about a lot of people and think it is our job to “enlighten” other people who then cast those same judgments on someone they don’t know? It’s a vicious cycle.

A recent article was posted in our local newspaper about a reporter being kicked out of the courtroom because her shoulders were showing and the court room had a dress code that there were no sleeveless shirts or hats to be allowed in the courtroom. Of course every feminist in the state of Utah got on the band wagon pouring out their hearts about how this court single handedly sexualized this ladies bare shoulders because they had kicked her out. Not once anyone acknowledging a dress code or rules of conduct in a courtroom. When my son was to appear in court over this sink dilemma, we were mailed a letter telling us what the dress standard would be for the court and was expecting it to be upheld. A lot of the people attributed the “Kicking out” to the LDS church policy on modesty.I have no idea what makes them think that the church went into that courtroom and demanded that that court of law abide by our modesty policy. I read some of the comments and quiet frankly laughed at a lot of them. I have never before seen a firestorm of misjudgments in my life. I was dumbfounded. I have lived in other areas of the United States and common sense tells me that every court in this country has a dress code to abide by. Feminists want the same rights as men, but they want to set the rules to by which they want equality. Such as a sleeveless tank top that a man wears to court should never been put in the same category as a woman’s sleeveless blouse. Really, sleeveless is sleeveless. That rules applies across the board and these women should be grateful they are being treated equal. I have seen Judge Judy herself rip into someone in her court for wearing more clothes than this young lady did, because she thought it was disrespectful to show up looking like they did. It was her courtroom, her rules. My job has a dress code, my children’s schools have dress codes, stores have dress codes. Can you imagine what the consequences would be if they didn’t? We would have half naked men and women parading around in front of our children without them accepting any responsibility for exposing young kids to that.

 

Our society has become nothing more than an opportunity for someone to tell you what they think and that your opinion means nothing or your side means nothing. No matter what the true story is. No one wants to search the truth and then base their opinions on their findings. They want to quickly form opinions and blast those all over the world as fast and as hurtful as they possibly can without taking responsibility for lies, gossip or the lack of truth.

Many times I have found myself on the other end of the whipping stick because I have voiced my religious beliefs. I have been called judgmental because I feel marriage is between a man and a woman. It is my opinion. I am entitled to it. It is my right as an individual in this country as much as it is their right and it is my right to practice my religion as I want, just like it is theirs. This great country gives us this ability. Society believes I am no longer entitled to my religious beliefs if it goes against someone else’s.  When I express them I am condemned. I get called bigot, racist and every other word you can imagine from people who don’t even know me. They know nothing about me. They base their judgments off the strokes of a keyboard.

My daughter who has always been a quiet, shy soul had posted a blog post about judging others that went viral. She had a lady post a comment that said that she found my daughter rude and extremely unprofessional and would not take anything she said as anything to be worth reading. My daughter has one of the kindest hearts I know. She hates to see people mistreated or ever feel like she has hurt someone’s feelings. So much so that she removed a blog post about activities she wanted to do while in young women’s because she was afraid her young women’s leaders would have taken it wrong and thought she didn’t like them. She loved all of the ones she had and didn’t want to hurt them in any way. She is very conscience about how she treats and reacts with people, yet this lady based her opinion on typed digital words that have no emotional attachment whatsoever. The Internet has given us to opportunity to interact with people all over the world, but it has also become one of the biggest tools of Satan to be hurtful, mean and to quite frankly bully anyone who goes against us. We don’t have to see these people in our lives. So we unattach ourselves to the comments we make because we don’t see the hurt we cause. We strike out with our hurtful tongue and then continue on our merry way without thinking twice of the devastation we have left behind. It is an Internet based Hit-and-Run basically.

When we as a society and people will take a step back BEFORE passing judgments or forming opinions and tell ourselves that there are always two sides of every story and take a more thought out approach to the way we communicate and deal with people, then perhaps we can save ourselves from this destructive pattern we have put ourselves in.

When Christ, our loving Brother, hung on the cross; being persecuted for things He did not do He prayed, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” When we as a society learn to forgive and to not be so quick to be offended, then perhaps we may start to change the hate filled culture we have created for ourselves. It starts in our homes where we have the most influence. We must teach our children to veer from this horrible destructive path we are on. We have to teach them to love and to forgive. We have to teach them to mind their tongue when on the Internet. We have to teach them to think of others when they say something, do something or respond to something. We must teach them to ask themselves, “What would Christ have me do. How would Christ have me act”. If we don’t start with our kids and try to change our own behavior we will eventually destroy ourselves.

 

 

Today I reflect upon the trials that my husband and I have gone through in the last 4 years. At times when there seemed no hope, Heavenly Father always reminded us of His presence and love for us.

Today I read a post on Facebook from a friend and neighbor of mine. I realized that even how large my problems have seemed, they pale in comparison to some.

With this said, I am including two links. I urge you to click on these links. Read them and try to help. Despite the problems this world faces, I refuse to believe that brotherly love and kindness do no exist.  There are good people out there who are wanting to do what God wants and truly follow Him in every sense of the word.

Please read and help if you can.

 

http://www.heartsforbinghams.org/

 

http://jasonandstacybingham.blogspot.com/

So my first two children were girls. Girls were so much fun.  I could dress them up and they got along most of the time. Rarely did I have a smack down between the two of them. My next two children were boys.

Boys are an entirely different species all together. When my boys were younger, they got along great together. Better than the girls. As they grew into teens, I started noticing BIG differences in their behavior. I am not sure where in the genetic code of humans that the burping and farting in public gene mutated in males. This is hard to understand as a female and one that I will never understand. For some reason the teenage…and I might add, older aged male, seem to think this is the best way for impressing the babes.  Let me put that myth to rest right now. That would be no.

When my youngest son turned 13 something changed. Not only did he change, but he passed whatever he had on to my son that was 15.  My polite 15-year-old son suddenly started farting wars with the 13-year-old.  Two years later despite my constant nagging things have not changed.

This is not the only problem with teenage boys.  The burping and farting they are constantly doing seems to drown out common sense or deadened it.  I am still not sure which.  I truly believe they will do anything to embarrass me even if it isn’t on purpose.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my boys and they make me laugh everyday. They are hilarious, but they come with horrible side effects sometimes.  Take my trip to town a couple of days ago.  We came to a store where they were selling newspapers outside of the door.  I am sorry, but I hate this.  I hate being  jumped at a store door without an exit route.  I have told these guys over and over that I do not want a newspaper.  As I sat in the car looking at the front door and trying to figure out how to get into the store without getting a sales pitch, my son says this “I got an idea, I will just go up and “pants” him and then when he is distracted you can go into the store. I bet he will never want to sell anything to you after that”.  After I recovered from envisioning this scene, we opted to go through the garden area and avoid him altogether. I wasn’t sure my son wouldn’t try something.

Amongst my purchases at this store was a toilet plunger. As I am getting into the car, I find that my car has a new hood ornament which took some doing for him to get it off after he put it there.  I seriously counted my blessings that I saw that before I got going down the road.  Once we get going down the highway he then proceeds to stick the plunger on the roof of the car to pretend it is a police siren, you know like in the movies. I had to put up with this for 7 miles.  With my neighbor driving right behind me the whole 7 miles.  Then he has the nerve to tell me that he wants to make a bow that will shoot one. Guaranteed, I will be the first to get it in the face.

Then the other day we went into a store. I was stuck there with him again despite the many times I have told him he is not coming with me ever again.  We came out of the gardening area and started down an aisle where we both saw this really cool green glass looking ball. We both reached for it at the same time to feel it. After touching it we realized it was plastic and that is was a toy ball.  My son quickly  grabbed it and started reading the label.  “Hey”, he says “this says this ball can bounce 150 feet in the air, I don’t believe it”.  As soon as the, “I don’t believe it” came out I knew he was going to see if the claim was true. The first words out of my mouth was, “Don’t do it”.  He must have turned off his “hearing aids” and decided that not only was he going to bounce it on the floor, but he better make sure he gives it enough power that it will do what it claims. He was standing at the top of one aisle and I started down another aisle just as he bounced it.

I looked up to see the ball go through the ceiling tiles.  This was a good 30 feet up.  The ball hit those tiles just right that it lifted them up and turned them enough that they fell out of the rim they were sitting in and came down on his head.  I personally did not stick around for the whole thing to play out.  When I saw the sky falling, I wasted no time in disappearing.

My first thought…”Dang it, they just saw everything on security cameras”.  My second thought, I am getting out of here before they realize he belongs to me.

When my son finally caught up to me, he begins to complain about the paper cut that one of them gave him on his face.  No, “sorry mom, I should have listened to you”.  No, nothing.  It has been 3 days and still no apology. Perhaps someday when he has a son I will get an apology. Because despite my hopes for change, I think the gene will mutate in his future sons also.

So after a few busy weeks, I am back. My life has been chaotic lately.

I also started a new blog called “Where In The World is Jay”.  A little bit about how it started.

To understand how funny I find my husband, I have never seen anyone as tenacious as he once he starts mowing. We live on a five acre piece of land which gets covered with field grass.  One day he was out mowing our regular lawn and he disappeared. I found him clear out in the field mowing. He is the kind of guy that once he starts going, he will find anything that needs mowing down and go at it.

A couple of years after we were married he was out mowing with the riding lawn mower and I looked out to see nothing but a giant ball of dust.  All of a sudden I see him running toward it and in the middle of this dust ball was the riding mower climbing a fence post. I stood there with mouth open trying to figure out how the mower got up the fence post without my husband on it.  I still to this day don’t know and neither does he.  He is as tenacious with the weed whacker as he is the mower. Many times I have seen him in the field chopping away at anything that looks like a weed.  I have lost many of flowers and plants to that thing. May they rest in peace.

So a couple of days ago he was mowing the lawn.  I went to the kitchen sink to get a drink. I looked out the window and saw him mowing the lawn in shorts and snowboots.  Earlier that day we had been hauling stuff to a recycling place and he had stepped in a horse size pile of dog poop.  We don’t have dogs that size, nor do our dogs ever go in the front yard. So stepping in it was an unpleasant surprise. So he put them on to mow the lawn to keep from getting dog poop on his good shoes. It was nearly 80 degrees outside, I don’t know how he could stand it.

I was on the phone to my sister and told her that she needed to see what he was wearing.  She wanted me to upload the picture to my facebook page for her to see.  Well I decided that that was too boring so I was going to have some fun and I Photoshopped him into mowing The White House lawn.

It started from there that we decided to start a series called “Where in the world is Jay?”.  We started coming up with some really funny ideas of where one would find my husband and his mower.

So click on the link on the side under “Family” on  “Where In The World is Jay” and it will take you to the site.

Enough is Enough!

Sign petition here:   http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/firing-of-lawrence-o-donnell.html

Some of you may or may not know that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Or you might know us by the name Mormon. Yes, I belong to the same faith as Mitt Romney.

I am usually a peaceful person. I try to follow the teachings of God and Jesus Christ the best I can. I have my faults just like every person on this earth. I try to be accepting of all people’s beliefs and respect them for that. I rarely try to initiate conflict in any way, but something has happened that has cut me to my very core.

There are three things that I will go to my death fighting for. One: God, Two: Family, Three: America. Now if anyone messes with these three things or disses on them in any way, it will set a “sleeping lion” off in me like none other.

An attack has been made upon my belief system that I view as an attack on religion altogether in the media. Even though I have my issues with Newt Gingrich and his lack of morality in marriage, he was right when saying that the media is having an all out attack on religion.

When someone who holds the title of journalist they are held to a code of ethics. Here is the preamble for that very code:

Members of the Society of Professional Journalists believe that public enlightenment is the forerunner of justice and the foundation of democracy. The duty of the journalist is to further those ends by seeking truth and providing a fair and comprehensive account of events and issues. Conscientious journalists from all media and specialties strive to serve the public with thoroughness and honesty. Professional integrity is the cornerstone of a journalist’s credibility. Members of the Society share a dedication to ethical behavior and adopt this code to declare the Society’s principles and standards of practice.

The following is the SPJ’s code of ethics:

Seek Truth and Report It
Journalists should be honest, fair and courageous in gathering, reporting and interpreting information.

Journalists should:

— Test the accuracy of information from all sources and exercise care to avoid inadvertent error. Deliberate distortion is never permissible.
— Diligently seek out subjects of news stories to give them the opportunity to respond to allegations of wrongdoing.
— Identify sources whenever feasible. The public is entitled to as much information as possible on sources’ reliability.
— Always question sources’ motives before promising anonymity. Clarify conditions attached to any promise made in exchange for information. Keep promises.
— Make certain that headlines, news teases and promotional material, photos, video, audio, graphics, sound bites and quotations do not misrepresent. They should not oversimplify or highlight incidents out of context.
— Never distort the content of news photos or video. Image enhancement for technical clarity is always permissible. Label montages and photo illustrations.
— Avoid misleading re-enactments or staged news events. If re-enactment is necessary to tell a story, label it.
— Avoid undercover or other surreptitious methods of gathering information except when traditional open methods will not yield information vital to the public. Use of such methods should be explained as part of the story
— Never plagiarize.
— Tell the story of the diversity and magnitude of the human experience boldly, even when it is unpopular to do so.
— Examine their own cultural values and avoid imposing those values on others.
— Avoid stereotyping by race, gender, age, religion, ethnicity, geography, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance or social status.
— Support the open exchange of views, even views they find repugnant.
— Give voice to the voiceless; official and unofficial sources of information can be equally valid.
— Distinguish between advocacy and news reporting. Analysis and commentary should be labeled and not misrepresent fact or context.
— Distinguish news from advertising and shun hybrids that blur the lines between the two.
— Recognize a special obligation to ensure that the public’s business is conducted in the open and that government records are open to inspection.

Minimize Harm
Ethical journalists treat sources, subjects and colleagues as human beings deserving of respect.

Journalists should:

— Show compassion for those who may be affected adversely by news coverage. Use special sensitivity when dealing with children and inexperienced sources or subjects.
— Be sensitive when seeking or using interviews or photographs of those affected by tragedy or grief.
— Recognize that gathering and reporting information may cause harm or discomfort. Pursuit of the news is not a license for arrogance.
— Recognize that private people have a greater right to control information about themselves than do public officials and others who seek power, influence or attention. Only an overriding public need can justify intrusion into anyone’s privacy.
— Show good taste. Avoid pandering to lurid curiosity.
— Be cautious about identifying juvenile suspects or victims of sex crimes.
— Be judicious about naming criminal suspects before the formal filing of charges.
— Balance a criminal suspect’s fair trial rights with the public’s right to be informed.

Act Independently
Journalists should be free of obligation to any interest other than the public’s right to know.

Journalists should:

—Avoid conflicts of interest, real or perceived.
— Remain free of associations and activities that may compromise integrity or damage credibility.
— Refuse gifts, favors, fees, free travel and special treatment, and shun secondary employment, political involvement, public office and service in community organizations if they compromise journalistic integrity.
— Disclose unavoidable conflicts.
— Be vigilant and courageous about holding those with power accountable.
— Deny favored treatment to advertisers and special interests and resist their pressure to influence news coverage.
— Be wary of sources offering information for favors or money; avoid bidding for news.

Be Accountable
Journalists are accountable to their readers, listeners, viewers and each other.

Journalists should:

— Clarify and explain news coverage and invite dialogue with the public over journalistic conduct.
— Encourage the public to voice grievances against the news media.
— Admit mistakes and correct them promptly.
— Expose unethical practices of journalists and the news media.
— Abide by the same high standards to which they hold others.

With this said and listed I created a online petition to get Lawrence O’Donnell from MSNBC fired for his unethical reporting. His latest has been a spew of lies regarding the church I belong to. This man has in no way done his research completely to be able to accurately report on something he knows absolutely nothing about.

Mr. O’Donnell has repeatedly broken the code of ethics for the Society of Professional Journalists. When companies hire and employ people who feel that their perception of things is more truthful than the facts themselves, then they need to be removed from a position of influence to unsuspecting listeners or viewers. Mr. O’Donnell has repeatedly failed to do his homework on many of his comments and thus has broken the very code of ethics he is required to follow by his profession.

I call all to sign the petition and thus take back our country and make the Media themselves be held to a higher standard of truthful reporting. Too many misunderstandings and misinformation comes from the media and we as a people need to hold them to a higher standard because of the potential influence they have on the world.

If you have any moral fiber in your body to stand up to this type of reporting then please sign this petition and lets send a message to the media that we are tired of the lies and hatred they create in this beloved country of ours. We are here to help  one another and build this great nation,  not tear each other down and create disharmony within our own walls. This country is run by the people for the people, not by  media or by government. It was set up for the people to make change and be change. I call for action.

http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/firing-of-lawrence-o-donnell.html

Why I Love My Kids

Today was a very stressful day.  In the area we live in, we have been receiving a lot of rain instead of our usual snow.  It made for some very scary roads.  This morning the sun had come out and the roads were wet, but not icy. Or so we thought.

My daughter came home from school yesterday telling her father that her car acted like it was overheating.  So this morning he put some antifreeze in it and took it for a spin to see if the problem was taken care of.   He hit an unseen patch of ice and totaled her car.  He is O.K., but the car was not.  My husband was so broken hearted to have to tell his daughter what he had done to her car.

Kids have this ability to be so resilient when as adults we worry ourselves into the ground.  I happened upon the following entry that my daughter wrote in her blog.  I have to share it with you because it brought a huge smile to my face during an extremely stressful time and put what is really important into perspective.  My family.

Arianna’s Entry:

RIP, Sparky

BENSON, Utah- 1996 Dodge Intrepid “Sparky”, 16, met his demise Jan. 20, 2012 after sliding across an icy road and slamming into one heck of a mailbox post. His bumper was torn to shreds, his lights were shattered, and both of his airbags were ejected. Due to my family’s inability to pay for his medical bills, he was euthanized at Cache Valley Metals the morning of his accident.Sparky left us with a rich legacy of driving into ditches and growling like a hungry grizzly bear. He was a morose individual, always snarling unhappily when his engine came to life, skittering across the road when the snow was falling. Sparky hated winter and winter hated Sparky. He would be glad to realize that he no longer has to deal with snow again.Sparky was adopted my junior year in high school after my parents’ Intrepid exploded on their way to get him, thus, forcing them to bring him home. He was a carefree car at one point of his life, his power steering ripping you across the asphalt, his engine a gentle hum.

The day that he first drove into a ditch and had to be pulled out by a tractor was the day when part of Sparky died. He’s never been himself since.

Sparky and I had many adventures together, such as driving to BYU on the freeway for the first time and that time when I ripped off his BYU tramp stamp with a spatula. He got the nickname Sparky after his battery died at Steve’s house and the jumper cables nearly electrocuted poor Steve. His battery failed him two times that night. I thought I would lose him.

How Sparky could have looked in his glory days.

He is survived by me, and I don’t know how I’ll replace him. We’re all as broke as the Sphinx’s nose around here, but we’ll find some way to make do.

The world will be a lot more quiet without Sparky around to growl at it.

Here’s to you, my dear friend. May your axle be straight and your engine a proud roar in car heaven.

Game On!

For Christmas every year, we buy one or two boardgames because we love playing games as a family.  Every Sunday night we have what we call Family Home Evening and we have a lesson on gospel topics and then we plays games and have treats.  Everyone takes turns doing different things.  Family Home Evening is not Family Home Evening with the games.  We take turns picking a game and spend the night laughing or fighting if it is Pictionary.  It never fails, something about Pictionary brings the worst out of at least one person.  If you put my two daughters together on a team, guaranteed you have your work cut out for you to win.  It is like they can read each other’s minds or something.  The family joke, “Hey, I feel like fighting…let’s play Pictionary”.   Pit is also a family favorite.

This year for Christmas I found one of the funniest games.  It is called Redneck Life.  I bought it at www.newegg.com.  That was the cheapest place I found.  They also offer an expansion pack which is worth the extra cost to buy right off. This game is based on The Game of  Life only it is in redneck version.

You shake one or two dice (depending if you are using expansion pack) to see what grade you graduated from.  Then a payday comes with that education and a job i.e. Monster Truck announcer, bouncer, bass fishing guide…etc.  You roll the dice to pick your spouses name.  i.e. Big Belle, Corndog Pete….

The first time we played we were all depressed because you automatically go into debt.  You have to buy a house and a car etc.  Throughout the game you have “accidents” that make you loose teeth.  The object of the game is to see who has the most teeth at the end.  There are factors that determine this at the end.  You can gain some teeth back through various ways.

The worst part of it for me was that I ended up with 34 children and 31 of them were all named Darryl and had red hair.  This forced me to buy enough vehicles to get this family around.  There is a space you land on where you can take the kids to the babysitter (babysitter being whatever player you choose) and “forget” they are there.  Then the babysitter adds that many more kids to their kid list.  By the way, each kid you have takes away $10 from your payday.  So if your payday stunk in the beginning, it really stinks if you have a ton of kids.

We have laughed so hard during this game.  Tears streaming.  The first time we played, I landed on a square that said, “Your parents didn’t want you when you were born and left you at the hospital, start over”.  This pretty much sucked, but I did get even at the end.

This is a hilarious game.  I had to edit some of it for my kids (they are 14-19) just because I didn’t feel it was appropriate for our home but it is stuff you can work around.  The cars and houses that you have to buy are actual pictures of real homes and vehicles.  I would hope that people don’t live in things like that or drive things like that, but I have an uneasy feeling that they do.

If you want a fun game to play, this is it.

So with yesterday being the last day before everyone went back to school, we wracked our brains trying to find something to do as our last “hurrah”.  After a lot of thoughtful contemplation we decided to have a Nerf gun war.  Feeling like I do today, I wish I wouldn’t have suggested it. We got all of the guns and ammo together and found a place for the war.  We sat up the bunkers and made up teams.  After the first round we decided that the teams weren’t working for us so it suddenly became a “free-for-all”. I realized after about 45 minutes why they suggest you wear protective eyewear.  I was hit in the face 4 times.  I nailed my son right between the eyes once and just as he turned around his sister shot him in the forehead.  Ears were impaled, and heads were shot.  Nothing was sacred people, nothing. One thing that has been a problem with me for years is that if I get laughing, I quickly become immobilized.  I lose all strength in the body and can do nothing to protect myself.  This is a huge weakness of mine and it has been used against me many times. Yesterday was no exception. Some of the Nerf ammo has velcro on one end.  I shot my daughter in the butt and the ammo was just hanging there.  She could not deny I hit her, the proof was there waving to the world. I started laughing so hard that I couldn’t pull it together.  In my moment of weakness, my son shot and hit me in the tooth.  That was it.  I fell to the ground unable to move because I was laughing so hard, tears flowing.  It took me a good 10 minutes to get myself back in the game. Not once was I able to be “King of the Ring”.  I never could get everyone out so that I was the last person standing.  I seriously need to brush up on my skills.  I have to admit I pwned on loading.  I could load and shoot faster than you can say “Bob’s Yer Uncle”.  I had to, I was an easy target for everyone, which pretty much sucked. It has been decided that the war must have a second, third and fourth round at least.  I have to admit, despite the pain…it was pretty fun.  Next time…game on.  I am showing up looking like Rambo.  There will be NO survivors. Someday I will have to decide to grow up…but today is not that day.

As I look back on my most memorable Christmas’, the ones I remember are the most simplest ones.  The years that we have struggled and some dear “Angel” has come to our rescue.  I cannot begin to tell you how many times that has happened.

One year we started a family tradition of giving each brother a sister a tree ornament.  I remember the time and effort that was put into some of those.  My sister had handmade hers and they were beautiful. I cherished these ornaments.  I thought of each one of my brothers, sisters and in-laws as I would put those on the tree.  It became especially important to me after the death of my mother.  Family became the most important thing to me.

This particular year stands out to me as one of the most memorable.  We used to keep our tree and ornaments in our garage because we didn’t have enough room in the house.  As tradition, we always put up the tree on Thanksgiving or the day after.  I had my husband go out to the garage and bring out my box of beautiful ornaments.  When he came into the house the look on his face caused me alarm.  Our tree and ornaments had been invested with mice.  We live on a farm, so it is normal to have mice all over but for some particular reason this year was worse than previous years.

When I opened the boxes, I realized that nothing was salvageable.  My first response was tears.  All of the hard work that had gone into those ornaments from my family, plus all of the handmade ones my children had made for me came rushing to my memory so fast that it was overwhelming.  I was devastated.  They weren’t just ornaments, they were family memories.  After the tears passed, then came the thought of how are we going to have a tree this year.  My husband had been unemployed, his father had recently passed away and it had been a hard year financially.   We eventually found a small fake tree and decided that it was going to have to do.  We would just find something else for ornaments.

One night as we pulled into our home, I noticed a big box sitting on our back porch.  We all walked cautiously toward it not knowing why it was there and what was in it.  As I slowly opened the box, inside lay ornament after ornament.  No name, no nothing to identify the giver.  Tears filled my eyes as I looked at those ornaments.  No, they were not the handmade memories I had cried over a few days ago, but they were memories of the love I felt for this stranger who had helped make my kids Christmas a special one.

This was not the only time we have felt the love of our Father in Heaven through special people that we have in our lives.  Some we know, some we don’t.  The giving did not stop at that year.  One year we found a beautiful handmade quilt on our front porch.  No name, nothing to identify the giver only the two sets of footprints left in the snow; one big, one small.  I looked at those prints and thought to myself, someone is teaching a child the importance of giving service to another.  I have cherished that blanket ever since.  I know it had to have taken hours to make and I was overwhelmed that someone would spend that much time on a gift for us.  As we knelt in family prayer that night, we thanked our Heavenly Father for another “Angel” that was now part of our Christmas memories.

Another year of hardship, we found money taped to our front door.  A simple message of “Hope you have a merry Christmas” was all that was written on it.  As I look back on these moments, there is nothing I can do to pay these dear souls back.  We still don’t know who some of these acts of service have come from, but it instilled in us a greater desire to serve others.  So each year the “Rees” elves try to do something to make someone else’s Christmas one to remember.  We never tell who, what, where or when; that takes the fun out of it.  Today a complete stranger will hopefully feel the Spirit of Christmas from some “Angels” who are paying it forward and being the hands of a loving Father in Heaven who knows all.  He knows our sufferings and our joy and always places people in our  lives at the right time and the right place to ease that suffering.  This is going to be fun!

Merry Christmas and may you remember the blessings that you have this Christmas season and pay it forward.  This is what true happiness is all about!