Tag Archive: school


Every year come November, usually around the first part of the month I start to feel all of the walls closing in on me.  You would think that after so many years I would be used to it, but I get stressed out to the max and feel pulling to cord to get off at a different stop.

Many things combine to make me start feeling this way.  First of all it turns off cold.  I hate the cold.  It is pretty sad when the only things you want for Christmas are things that will keep you warm like warm slippers, onsie PJ’s and an electric blanket.  I can’t use these things any other time of the year but winter.  It sucks!

I begin to start feeling like I am being pulled in directions I physically cannot go.  Because the pulling begins all at once and never in the same direction.

When I get to this point, I start doing real stupid things.  Not consciously, I just get scattered brained and start doing things that I normally don’t do.

Like yesterday…

A guy came into school a couple of days ago needing a website made.  There are three of us that will be working on it.  Two of us were at school yesterday and the proposal had to be put together.  I was the guinea pig because I was the only one that new Excel.  This was the first big thing I have had to do since being in school.  I was stress out because it had to be done yesterday.

After about 2 hours of putting it together, when I finally finished I realized that I had to go to the bathroom like yesterday.  I don’t know if I am the only one like that or other people are, but when I am so into something I forget what is going on around me.  I decided I should run up the hall and “relieve my waters” before getting on with some of my other work.  Because I had been so stressed out, I wasn’t thinking clearly and before you know it I found myself standing in the men’s bathroom.

I hadn’t even noticed the different colored floor until it was too late.  I can only imagine the look of horror on my face when I realized what I had done.  I turned and hauled my butt out of there faster than you can say, “Bob’s your uncle”.  I didn’t look behind me to see if I had been seen coming out of there like there was a fire.  I told myself…..”It’s starting” I won’t be myself again until January.

So I say to myself, “So long semi-sane until later.  I can only hope that glimpses of you will occasionally emerge to let me know you are still there waiting to come back to stay.”

My daughter showed me this video last night that I can relate with.  I am “Granny” at this time of year.

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Raised the Bar on Stupidness Levels

My kingdom of dorkdumb just increased by 100 acres as of two days ago.   I have a problem with getting in “the zone” and nothing around me is visible or audible.  I don’t know if it is age or what, but it is seemingly getting far worse than I would think of someone in their forties.

I thought it couldn’t get any worse than what it did a few days ago when I put the plastic wrap in the fridge and the cheese in the pantry.  When one  does something like this, you might think…”They are so in love they can’t see straight.”  Well that is true but after 21 years of marriage you would think that the vision had gone somewhat back to normal.  Nay, nay.  I wished I could blame love for it, but I am afraid it more Alzheimer’s than anything else.

At school, Grooveshark has become my addiction.  When I am working on designs I crank the tunes because it helps me think.  It gets the creative juices flowing.  Right now I am listening to Jamie Cullum’s version of “Don’t Start the Music”.  Smooth jazz is great!  Anyway I just started learning Illustrator and I had Lynyrd Skynyrd cranked to the max. 

Unbeknown to “dorkdom”, I had accidentally pulled my earplugs out of the jack and the entire class was rockin’ whether they liked it or not with Sweet Home Alabama.

Now, I have not asked it if was O.K. if I listened to music while at school.  I have the mentality that I do it and then apologize later and claim ignorance if it isn’t permitted.  Needless to say I felt all eyes boring through the back of head.  I really wanted to try to blame the person next to me, but unfortunately no one was sitting by me. It was clear where it was coming from.

There was no one way to put the plug back in without being seen.  I would have really liked to have a camera on the PC to see the look on my face when I realized that the music was coming from me.  Would have definitely been Master Charge worthy.

Had I been the guy that sits a few computers down from me that happened to be listening to a training video and farted extremely loud, I wouldn’t have been embarassed because I wouldn’t have heard myself.  I don’t think he even realized it was audible.  I heard it and I had my earphones in.   He just kept working like nothing happened at all.  No eyes boring through his head why???  Because I am the only woman in the room that is why!  Men don’t care.  I really hope he saw  the “crater” he left in the chair when he left and wondered to himself how that happened?

Today I went school shopping.  I really  shouldn’t have to say anymore.  I do not enjoy this activity at all.  I tried to depict my dilemma with the photo to the left.  My 16-year-old son, called “Slim” by some and “Bones” by others is 6ft 1in and is about 1 inch in diameter.  I can never find pants to fit this kid.  I have gone to every store in town trying to find him a pair.  Nightmare #1.

Then there is my  daughter Kori, whom I call “Crazy Feathers” because of her hair.  If you have every watched the old movie called “Hawmps” you would know exactly what I am talking about.  Anyway she is about 5ft 2in and her legs are so flippin’ short that I can’t find pants to fit her.  I just spent 3 hours going from store to store trying to find a pair that wasn’t too long for her.  Nightmare#2.

To add “insult to injury” I broke my toe over two weeks ago.  Walking is not a favorite pastime lately and while shopping today I could feel it starting to swell because of our three-hour trek.  While my daughter was in the dressing room at one store trying on a pair of pants, I sat down on a nearby bench to wait for her.  I went to cross my legs to get the pressure off of the foot and was sitting way too close to the edge of the bench.  Up went the other end and down towards the floor I plummeted.  In the process of trying to keep myself from looking like a complete fool or “Raca” as my husband would say, I smacked my throbbing swollen toe on the wall.  Which was still in pain from me stubbing it on the table leg at home about 2 hours earlier.  I almost cried…not quite, but almost.   I nearly found myself on the floor in the worship position at some girl’s feet. Nightmare #3.

My daughter couldn’t let me have all the fun so while shopping in the same store, we were in a tight clearance rack area and she turned to the person behind her and apologized for bumping into them only to find that she was apologizing to herself in the mirror.  I asked her, “You didn’t just do that did you?”  Of course, we both about fell on the floor laughing.   I didn’t dare turn and look to see if someone was watching.  At this point, I really wanted out of the store before someone thought that the both of us had escaped from a psych ward or something.  My daughter is blonde…I will cut her some slack.  I personally own a few blonde moments and I am not blonde.

I am grateful for my other two children who seem to have normal leg length that doesn’t cause me too much grief.  Of course I always had long legs, my mother’s answer to this…..floods.  We didn’t have that many options for inseams back in the day.  If they didn’t fit, you wore them short.  Which unfortunately I did most of the time.  This pretty much scarred my pre-teen life.  I still have this problem.

I guess to be fair to my poor kids…..I will add an artistic rendering of myself also.  I have long cellulite-covered legs and a 2 inch high waist also covered in cellulite.  I would like to tell my kids it will get better, but I doubt it will.  We are genetically stuck with these bodies and must learn to accept them for what they are or are not.  Be grateful you have legs, long or short.  Be grateful you have hair, crazy  or not.  Be grateful you have a waist…cellulite free or not.  Be grateful you have a toe, broken or not. Be grateful you are alive…because personally, I wouldn’t want to miss one moment of  my crazy family’s life!